Shafty Phat-C Diablogs Astros Baseball Fantasy Sports The Arts

Monday, July 10, 2006

Baerga + Maldonado > Miller + Morgan

Watching last night's game was difficult, not just because the Astros made for tough viewing, but also because ESPN had numerous technical difficulties that took both the video and audio feeds off the air for periods at a time. After a long day of running back and forth to the hardware store, suffering through horrible carpentry projects (since I'm the world's worst carpenter), and crap like that, I was delighted to sit down in the recliner with a Killian's, keep score on my Treo, and try to see how we were going to blow the game last night.

Of course, I don't think that ESPN would get quite the ratings for their boring "ESPN Sunday Night Baseball" graphics page if they just showed that all night long instead of, well, the game itself. I immediately hit the red THUMBS DOWN button on my DirecTV remote, giving the graphics page the worst possible grade one can: THREE THUMBS DOWN.

First, just as in MLB All-Star voting, I'm not altogether convinced that my "votes" actually count for anything. That's probably because I haven't hooked up my DirecTV box to a phone line because I'm too lazy to get up in the attic and finish making all of the phone connections for the telephone line that I ran down the wall behind the television. Because I'm not hooked up to a phone line, I get annoyed at least three times a day by the "You haven't made a daily call in like 476 days" message, or some crap like that. Because, you know, although I wasn't convinced by the "You haven't made a daily call in 475 days," or any of the preceding 445 days before then, I just might decide to do it on the 476th day.

Second, even if DirecTV got my votes--which they probably don't since my unhooked box doesn't have a way of communicating that information to them--I'm sure that my voting patterns would give them inconsistent messages. Last night, for example:
  • Lineup is shown; Ensberg not in there. Three GREEN thumbs up.
  • Lane IS in the lineup. Two RED thumbs down..
  • Jon Miller and Joe Morgan start talking. Three RED thumbs down.
  • Erin Anthony shows up. Three GREEN thumbs up.
  • Astros fail to score until the 6th inning. Three RED thumbs down all game, then Three GREEN thumbs up.
  • Rolen homers to left. Three RED thumbs down.
And so on, and so forth. I began madly pressing the RED thumbs down button when The Mole came into the game, and I just considered gluing the damn thing down.

Anyway, I *think* that the original point of this post was to comment on how refreshing it was when we lost the ESPN audio feed from Miller & Morgan, and were switched over to ESPN Deportes (Candy Maldonado and Carlos Baerga). Those two managed NOT to fellate Albert Pooholes as much as M&M were, and we were spared having to see that stupid NLCS Game 5 replay again. By the way, for all the talk there is about that home run... how'd that series turn out again? I forget.

The only thing I'd much remembered about Carlos Baerga was that he held down a major league job for years while flying under the radar, and that he was on my Cleveland Indians Hardball III team that heroically vanquished Phat-C's Milwaukee Brewers squad in the ALCS. I was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable their calling of last night's game was.

Of course, all of these guys beat the snot out of dumbass Josh Lewin, whose incompetence was made all the more apparent by the fact that relatively-intelligent-sounding Sweet Lou Piniella was there to clean up the many messes created by Lewin. Lewin? Not good.

Finding an out-of-the-way manner to remind Phat-C of having lost at Hardball III? Very, very satisfying.


Post a Comment

<< Home