Astros Renaissance Delayed One More Day

Houston city officials have warned residents to stay indoors today because of unusually heavy smog brought on by an intense release of methane gas in downtown Houston last night beginning on or about 7:05 P.M. Phat-C and I--having been in the affected area at the time last night--had assumed that the noxious odor was entirely coming from the fat guy wearing the Bagwell jersey walking in front of me:

Phat-C: *wrinkles nose* Did you rip?
Shafty: Nope. *points* I think Bagwell did.

Poor Bagwell. His career is pretty much over, and his name is still being associated with crappy stuff that he didn't do. Such as having to reside on the 40-man roster of what is--right now--a team playing the worst baseball in the National League.

No, although "Bagwell" didn't help the overall air quality last night, the worst odors emanated from the baseball "team" that took the field last night against Carlos Zambrano and the Cubs. Earlier in the day, Phil Garner sat his team down for a closed-doors meeting in which he lit into them about their crappy performance of late. The inspired Astros then went out and laid an enormous turd on the field.

The game last night was so poor from every angle that I just see no need to break its awfulness down from every angle. Instead, I'll hit a few points very quickly, and get on with the rest of my day:

• Knowing how much we struggle to hit Carlos Zambrano, it's nice to see that Taylor Buchholz went out and kept us in the game. Good work. *slow clap*
  
  
• The "Play of the Game" shown on the Jumbotron last night consisted of Eric Bruntlett's having fielded a grounder with the fielders in, and throwing home to get the runner. The very next batter (the Cubs' pitcher, it turns out) then hit a three-run homer. The net effect of the "Play of the Game," then, was that the Cubs scored just as many runs as they would have had the infield played back--but somebody else would have gotten the RBI instead of Carlos Zambrano. Either way, playing the infield in in only the second freaking inning displays that Garner has absolutely no confidence in his team's ability to score runs. Not an unfair belief, mind you but, if your manager doesn't believe in you, who will? I'm reminded of Phat-C's college baseball coach who, looking to motivate his team, uttered the following words of wisdom:
  
  "You Guys F__king Suck!"
  Thanks, Coach. Real inspiring.
  
  
• Biggio's decision to throw to first late in the game, instead of getting lead runner Todd Walker, was a complete abomination. Walker would go on to score on a hit that would not have scored the runner on first.

So the task of beginning the Astros Renaissance now falls on Magic Wandy, against Kerry Wood and the Cubs. Good thing we've never had any trouble with Wood in the past.