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Monday, June 05, 2006

Astros Need a "Power Outage"

"What?!? Certainly not," you say.

Allow me to explain.

Shafty and I have a little unwritten rule about sports video games. If you've ever played one, you know that they're relatively easy to dominate on the "normal" setting. In fact, they often even make you feel good about yourself by labeling the "normal" setting as "pro" or something. However, increasing the difficulty setting to "all-star" (or whatever they choose to call it) doesn't increase the challenge of the game. Instead, it increases the cheat factor of the computer (e.g., you try to hit a batter, but he hits a 500-ft. homerun instead... even though the pitch was at his head).

When this sort of phenomenon begins, Shafty and I tend to execute our rule, dubbed "Power Outage." What this means is that, when the computer begins to get uncontrollably cheap, we graciously bestow a "power outage" on the game, such that it restarts... "on its own." In other words, we hit the reset button. We then go in and proceed to cheap (yes, I used it as a verb) the computer to the tune of 23-0 or something. One-sided? Yes. Hypocritical? Probably, but it's a computer. Losing isn't the issue. It's getting cheaped that sucks.

So...

Have the Astros been cheaped? Yes. The computer has unsympathetically allowed us to get our hopes up by letting us go 19-9, and then dropped us in the dumps. We are now being robbed by Ryan Freel (who also had two... TWO... bombs yesterday). Ken Griffey, Jr., hasn't been injured in a while. We somehow can't hit Aaron Harang, The Page, or that AAA guy that started yesterday. For some reason Edwin is making plays. And the list goes on.

To make matters worse, our offense has--to quote Derek Bell--gone into "Operation Shutdown."

We need a "Power Outage." And we need it NOW.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
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12:09 AM  

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